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How to get more parent-time during deployment

It’s hard for anyone to be away from their child during deployment. But, for those who aren’t married to their child’s other parent, it may become regular to spend large amounts of time living in separate states.

However, there are a few things you can do to maintain your relationship with your child and get the most out of the parent-time you can have.

Video chat schedule

While video chat interactions won’t be exactly the same as spending time in person, it will be good for both you and your child to interact face-to-face. Because children have an easier time when they follow a set routine, try to come up with a regular schedule the two of you can follow to engage.

Keep in mind that this time is to be together — which might not always include chatting. You can read a story together, play a game, watch a movie or even do a craft. Switching up the way you spend your time together will keep the activity from feeling monotonous for you and your child.


There may be times when you’re physically unable to engage with your child. However, there are creative ways you can play a role in their life when you’re not available in the flesh. Try gifting a memento to your child that he or she can keep with them or revisit regularly.

This could be a recording of your voice, a memory you spent together on video, a photograph or a physical object. Remind your child that they can revisit this memento for comfort before bed, after they’ve achieved something or when they’re feeling down.

Other correspondence

If you have a regular video chat schedule with your child, you may not know what to write in a letter. However, engaging in another type of correspondence can give your child special memories to look forward to.

If you don’t have anything new to share, try writing quizzes or games. You can also share pictures and souvenirs.

Maintaining a connection

These connections may require your ex’s help. If you are having trouble with establishing regular connections with your child, you should consider modifying your child custody arrangement to require a schedule.

This can help make sure that everyone is doing their part. In situations where you’re still struggling, reach out to an attorney with experience in military divorce and custody to learn more about your options. A lawyer can help make sure that you don’t lose that special connection with your child while doing your part for our country.

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