It’s not uncommon for people to run into setbacks in their marriages, especially if you’re in the military. With long deployments and other related factors, it’s no surprise that spouses may be frustrated or lonely. You may find that your marriage is struggling, even though you thought it would last.

No one goes into a marriage thinking about divorce, but divorce sometimes is the solution to a growing issue. Before you consider that option, it’s a good idea to think of other ways to address the concerns in your relationship. How can you start addressing the problems you see?

Start by working on self-control. For example, if you are in a situation where you’re going to get into an argument, pause for a few moments and remember that you have the option to stop and wait until you can discuss the topic without frustration or anger. Take time to gain perspective before addressing problems; if you try to tackle everything at once, it can become overwhelming.

Another thing to do is to talk to your spouse about your progress. If you go to counseling, for example, take time to discuss the progress you’re making with your spouse and listen to his or her continuing concerns. If nothing is getting better after several months of trying to make adjustments, then it might be time to discuss divorce again in a calm and focused manner.

No couple wants to go through divorce, but if it’s what might happen for you, you need to know your rights. The decisions you make now will affect your future.

Source:, “So You’ve Hit a Marriage Setback: 3 Steps,” Corrie Weathers, accessed Oct. 11, 2017

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